My Type of Girl Unloced…

I read an article the other day about dating yourself. It outlined what you could do with yourself and date ideas for dating yourself and how to go about the process. So I thought to myself, “that's what I need to do! Date myself! I should really get to know the real me!” So with the new year upon me that’s how I started 2019. I began spending real time with myself! I commenced to dig deep. Asking myself the hard questions, the same as I would someone I was actually considering dating seriously. “What are your long term goals and your short term goals? What are your past traumas and how are they affecting you? What are you doing to be a better you?”
And as I did this digging and questioning of myself I slowly came to the realization that I am NOT what I am looking for in a life partner. You know that song, "I ain't got no type" by Rae Sremmurd? Yea well, it turns out, I do have a type, and I ain't it! I am indecisive. I spend too much time on my phone doing social media. I often spend my money on the wrong things. I can be selfish and self absorbed. I definitely don't compliment myself enough. I am forgetful. I don’t work out very often. I lie and I don't always put the person I love ,(i.e. me) first.
I had to be honest with myself. I wasn't the kind of person I would want to spend the rest of my life with. So what do I do? How can I be dating myself when I am not even my type? So I did what we all do when we really like someone, I made excuses. I focused on the good and not the bad. I paid more attention to the qualities that I do have instead of the ones I don’t. Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that making excuses for bad behavior is the incorrect thing to do, but I felt like in this case there was a little leeway. I know there are things that aren’t great about me but I truly feel it is in my best interest to see the good in me, and give myself the benefit of the doubt. In order for or me to have a successful relationship with myself I had to first of all forgive myself. Like all relationships there has to be a space for forgiveness and get rid of resentment. Nobody is perfect and mistakes are the fabric of our lives. Next I had to be honest with myself. I am NOT the kind of person I would want to end up with, YET. But I have the full intent on growing and becoming that person.
​ I plan to grow and nurture that relationship. I hope to keep evolving. And normally in a relationship when the person ain't the person you have the option to leave but I am stuck with myself in a weird self marriage that is literally until death do us part. I will just have to do what they did in the old days, find a way to work it out. I just have to keep chugging away until I am what I want to be. Until I am my type. I am not quite sure when that will be, but luckily, I have patience with myself and feel no need to rush it. I can take my time and go as slow or as fast as I want. Me, myself and I have our whole lives to really figure out how to make this thing work and remember that you do too. So take care of yourself like you would the greatest love of your life, because after all, you are! Be blessed.