Happily Ever After Unloced…
What happens if they don’t live happily ever after??
I don’t know about anyone else but I LOVE Disney! I am a self proclaimed Disney historian. I know lots of random useless facts about the movies and their productions. Now if you are a Disney connoisseur, such as I am, you know that Disney has evolved tremendously over the past few decades. What, with movies like Brave, and Frozen, Disney is proving that their Princess’ don’t need saving from a prince anymore. Nevertheless, I still enjoy older Disney movies, where the princess is looking for the prince or vice versa and some unforeseen obstacle stands in the way of their love. A wicked witch, a poison apple, a curse, and even an octopus, there is something they must overcome in order to be together. Finally the prince defeats the dragon, he kisses the princess, they wed, and they live happily ever after! Corny, I know but there is just something about those movies that makes my heart just want to burst! And although I love those movies, they have always left a lingering question in my mind, even as a kid. What happens AFTER, “happily ever after”?
Where do they go? What do they do after the big wedding is over? Do they have kids? How do they rule the kingdom? Which side of the bed do they each sleep on? Do they argue about whose turn it is to do the dishes? How many kids they want to have? And the forbidden question of “What if they don’t actually live happily ever after?” I know for most Disney fiends these questions are major taboo but I am truly curious. What if prince Eric isn’t all Ariel built him up to be? What if Mulan was selfish and insecure and not just a great hero to China? These movies are sewn into the fabric of my childhood but I also think that they ruined a lot of us in some ways.
The idea is that you (the princess) meets a guy (the prince). You all court. You have your ups and downs. You make it through and then you get married and you ideally “live happily ever after.” But what those stories leave out is the real stuff. They don’t tell you about the in-laws that you will have to deal with. This might be because in almost all Disney movies one or both of the parents of the main character is dead. (Fun Disney fact!) They don’t tell you about the stupid fights that might come up about soap or toilet paper. The movies also don’t tell you about expectations. They show you how this person has been built up in this other person’s mind and they lead you to believe that, that person is EXACTLY who they are perceived to be. But if I have learned anything in the past year it is this, expectations are just premeditated resentments.
What I mean by that is, when you “expect” someone to be a certain way, act a certain way, think a certain way, you are setting yourself up for failure. People, especially ones you love, will never be exactly who you expect them to be. You place this expectation on them, without their knowledge and when they don’t live up to it you are disappointed and hurt, and that can then turn into resentment.
You have to be purposeful in the act of seeing people for who they actually are. Not who you want them to be or who you think they are. People are going to disappoint you. That is the nature of living. Everything won’t all be roses but you have to decide for yourself if you can live with those disappointments or not. And if you decide you can, make sure you are not assuming, or coming up with some preconceived notion of that person. Really get to know them and learn to love that person, not the person you expected them to be. Now I am not saying through all your caution to the wind. I feel you should let someone know how you expect to be treated within any type of relationship, what you expect for your future, or even how you expect the house work to be divided. I am just saying don’t assume someone is one way, never voice that, never ask for it, never speak it out loud to that person and then become angry with them for not meeting the unknown expectations that you set for them. Ask for what you want, but also be aware of what you have. See things for what they are, not for what you wish they were.
